Fallen Parents = Unmet Needs

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned. ~Psalm 34:18-19, 22


Early attachments can have a serious impact on later relationships. ~John Bowlby

God and The Trust Issue

Trust was a key component in The Garden. It is key to our relationship with God, others and self. A lack of trust is often at the core of our fear, shame and guilt when it comes to a personal, intimate, a knowing of God and being able to ‘experience’ His love for us just as we are as we continue to pursue our relationship with Him.

Made for Connection | Attachment

We were made to walk with God in a perfect Garden without guilt or shame. A great human fear—maybe the greatest—is to be fully known.

A look around our neighborhood, colleagues at work, someone sitting in a church row with us, or in a circle of a small group or bible study. It is not known if people’s God designed needs were met as they were developing into what is seen now. Many times, people do not realize the effect seemingly innocuous words, actions, or absence has had on our emotions, intellect, and Christ designed worth and value lens the Lord sees us through. Our purpose now?

To reconnect with God and experience His unconditional love. This is often different from our earthly relationships.

To Be Known

A great human fear—maybe the greatest—is to be fully known.

Christian mask wearing is becoming less common but still exists. My prayer is that walking into church knowing each person’s sin, or trauma, or daily struggle that permeates an impacted body, mind and soul, is seen as a normal part of hovering between Grace and suffering. Simply a normal part of living in a fallen world. It is in the knowing that provides an opening for a spiritual community to respond in the Grace Jesus has extended to all.

Nope. Not a Shock.

God is not shocked by any lack of connection, influences that negatively impact connection, our physical bodies being triggered by the impact of unmet needs, or the enemy continuing to attempt to the image of God we were created to be.

Physical: Chronic pain and Sickness

Yes, trauma, harsh words, fighting, feeling voiceless and helpless as a child all impact us physically. When events, have no place to go, they begin to impact our physical well-being. The called The Body Keeps the Score may help in understanding this.

Making Trauma Visible

No, You’re NOT Crazy.

Without getting too scientific, our brains can be injured just like other biological components in our body. The good thing is our ‘tent’ is temporary just like our behaviors. Okay, I lied, here’s some science… When we are ‘triggered’ our brains flood with a chemical called ‘cortisol’ which impacts feeling overwhelms as well as the fight, flight or freeze mechanism.

Processing Trauma

Processing your trauma is vital through a therapy called EMDR. Although this workshop is not equipped for personal, long-term counseling, we will learn to take our pain, confusion, anger, distrust, et al to God in a relational way. If you have need for additional help beyond the scope of this workbook please contact one of the facilitators.

What is trauma?

We may believe that God has abandoned us in the big and small moments of the past. In reality, we are constantly in a spiritual battle and are impacted by others, and sometimes with ourselves, when not being directed by the Holy Spirit. God has given us free will, and some use that will to harm us.

“Big T” Trauma

Major events normally seen as traumatic can impact emotions, beliefs about self, God and others & physical sensations can occur in both the mind & body

  • Serious accidents
  • Natural disasters
  • Robbery, rape and urban violence
  • Major surgeries, life-threatening illness
  • Chronic or repetitive experiences, e.g., child abuse & neglect
  • War, combat, concentration camps, prison
  • *May cause PTSD in some people but not all
“Small t” Trauma

Overwhelming but not often seen as traumatic, BUT IT CAN BE!

  • Emotions, beliefs and physical sensations occur in both the mind and body
  • Unprocessed traumas have a long-lasting, negative effect
  • Can cause concentration, self-esteem & emotional regulation difficulties
  • Stunts and colors later perceptions
  • Often no intrusive imagery
  • Most common in neglected/abused children
  • Become part of a negative spiral when a “Big T” trauma occurs
  • Sometimes referred to as “complex trauma”— cPTSD

The Nervous System and The Brain

We have the technology!

Brain scans have shown how trauma [abuse—neglect] have impacted brain development. In addition, our INVOLUNTARY nervous system is negatively impacted. We are now seeing that many people have both anxiety and depressive symptoms, especially those experiencing impacting events. There are now techniques to help move traumatic experiences from short-term memory to long-term memory, thereby reducing, and sometimes eradicating triggers.

He Doesn’t Care How.

Satan has no qualms about using others to wound us through: abuse, neglect, and any other means in between. The church has been no exception to this abuse, neglect, and snuffing out of those in need of Grace.

The good news is that these bodies we are in are just temporary tents for our earthly journey. That’s why we need doctors, dentists, and mental health professionals. Our bodies are not only in decay, but human fallenness has taken a greater toll on our spiritual life the farther we are from Eden.

It Wasn’t That Bad.

At times, our experiences are what we know. Therefore, our experiences do not seem significant or ‘traumatic.’ From the outside, people may seem as though everything is fine. One’s life may seem spiritually flourishing from a spectators view.