He Knows we need Healing

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~Psalm 147:3

Identity and Jenga®

If you’ve played Jenga® you know that the idea is to remove blocks until you are NOT the one that causes the tower to fall. Think of the perfect tower as our Perfect Identity, being created in the Image of God.

It is only with our relationship with Jesus Christ that we can once again, post creation, be Reconciled to our Creator. It is with that intimate relationship that we find healing and our 1 true identity.

All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. ~2 Cor 5:18-21

This is the same righteousness that Adam and Eve enjoyed in the Garden of Eden. What Christ did empowers us to heal, grow, and live in that righteousness. However, this is difficult to do when childhood and other life experiences send us negative messages about our worth.

Identity Begins to Crumble

Our wounds are the blocks that are removed one by one until the Image of God no longer resembles God’s created Identity in us. Our Created Identity loses it’s image qualities as we move farther from Creation and throughout development. This movement away from our Created Identity can be continued into adulthood as we grow into and live out a false identity. This false identity often grows from unmet emotional needs, abuse, or simply living in a fallen world being raised by fallen, broken, imperfect parents [no blame, just reality].

Some of these God designed emotional needs are:
  • Security
  • Boundaries, Safety
  • Attention | give and receive
  • A sense of Autonomy and Control
  • Touch Connection
  • Friendship, Intimacy
  • Comfort, Closeness
  • Forgiveness
  • Love, Care, Delight
  • Acceptance, Have Purpose
  • Support
  • Trust
  • Positive View of Self: I’m valuable, I have a sense of worth, I’m understood, I’m protected
Some of those negative beliefs may look like this:
  • No one cares
  • I am not lovable
  • God doesn’t love me
  • I cannot accept God’s love, I’ve tried
  • My measure of faith will never be enough
  • I don’t deserve love
  • I am a bad person
  • I am worthless/inadequate
  • I am shameful
  • I am not good enough
  • I cannot succeed
  • I am weak
  • I cannot protect myself
  • I am stupid
  • I am insignificant/unimportant
  • I am a disappointment
  • I am a failure
  • I have to be perfect

Beliefs Impact Behaviors

Acting on False Identity. Coping. Protection. Control.

Our beliefs lead to behaviors that are not in line with our faith. Or, even as Paul states in Romans Chapter 7, we do what we do not want to do. As one can see, our behaviors reflect our false/ negative beliefs of ourselves impacting our identity. Our behaviors are then actually living from a false identity based on lies and psychological, emotional, physical, et al wounding.

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ~Romans 7:15

Understanding Influences

Our life soon begins to crumble and we find ourselves in a cycle that seems to have no exit ramps. Trying to change behavior is part of that never-ending cycle. It is vital to acknowledge our experiences or events in your life as impacting your present. Our past IS impacting us. To diminish its impact is to ignore or deny our reality.

God Sees. Our enemy sees.

God sees our wounds and knows that the enemy uses those places to form our beliefs about ourselves—”I’m not good enough” and our view of God—”He wasn’t there for me…He doesn’t love me or he would have stopped what happened to me” and more. We may know these are lies intellectually, but emotionally we cannot seem to get life to compute and make sense.

Later we will describe in The Healing section how to bring God into places of doubt and confusion. In the meantime, we can be thinking about those areas that we have found it difficult to give God a chance to show his love to us.

Reframing perspective through relationship with God and others.

Our perception of our Heavenly Father is often influenced by our relationship with our earthly father and caretakers. These influences, impact our perception of God, often causing us to feel as though we cannot come to him. It may seem as though he doesn’t care, or is emotionally or physically absent.

Maybe God seems to be mean or we have believed we are not good enough or are a failure. All these can often equate to—God would not want to be in a relationship with me.

Additional info…

Complex PTSD

Many traumatic events (e.g., car accidents, natural disasters, etc.) are of time-limited duration. However, in some cases people experience chronic trauma that continues or repeats for months or years at a time. The current PTSD diagnosis often does not fully capture the severe psychological harm that occurs with prolonged, repeated trauma. People who experience chronic trauma often report additional symptoms alongside formal PTSD symptoms, such as changes in their self-concept and the way they adapt to stressful events.

More found here…

Healing ‘Younger Parts.’

When Children are Exposed to Trauma

I’ve seen children’s exposure to violence toward a caregiver described as vicarious trauma and severe neglect of a child described as little-t trauma. Neither description is accurate. For children, the health and well-being of their caregiver is synonymous with their own. If the caregiver is threatened, then the child experiences this as being threatened, meaning that their exposure is direct exposure to injury and death. Same goes for a child who is neglected. Because children are unable to meet their own basic needs—why we as a society require them to have caregivers—when those needs aren’t being met, this is also experienced as a threat of injury or death. For children, many “little-t traumas” are in fact matters of life and death.

More found here…

Big and small traumas can cause splitting of our psyche and our identity. As adults, we may have to go back and re-parent our younger selves that, at the time, could not make sense of our surroundings or what was happening to us or others. It has been said that the helplessness of watching trauma in our homes can be more traumatic than if it had happened to you.

It may sound strange, but we can sit with God and visualize our younger selves and see God there with us as he makes sense of each situation in our lives. It may be that we were simply confused about a person or event. Even that confusion can impact our relationships.